Just give it time, you'll find a reason...

Without the struggles I've encountered I wouldn't be who I am today, wouldn't be where I am today, wouldn't know everyone I know today, and wouldn't want to go where I want to go in life today. I wouldn't have grown so much, wouldn't be open to as much, and wouldn't be the contemplator I am today...

I know for me, the hardest thing when something goes wrong is when I can't find a reason for it. I can search and search for a reason, and when i don't find one right away, that's when I begin to trip and fall. There are so many obstacles in life, but each one of them leads to what comes next. The bigger the obstacle is, the more significant it is to what comes next. Sometimes what does comes next could be a days later, weeks later, months later, and even years later. But you have to give every event the chance to prove there is a reason.

Whether you are heart broken from a break up, your grades are suffering when you work your ass off, you have a death in the family way before it 'should' have been their time, you lose a job, you have family issues, addictions, money issues, or if you have anything standing in the way of your current dreams etc... It will lead to good if you give it the chance. And the quicker you realize that, the quicker the good will come. Maybe it will be struggle, after struggle after struggle... but even then, don't give up hope on happiness. You're allowed to dwell, and mourn, and be sad and angry, but in the midst of that, while you're asking yourself why? how? what's the reason for this? And you're not getting the answers, know that there is an answer, that you will get the answer someday. Sometimes people will never find the answer as to 'why?' etc... but that's only when they don't ever let themselves see it, when it's really right in front of them.

Every event truly is a learning opportunity; you learn about yourself, you contemplate the world, you gain different perspectives on things... That's the biggest one, with every obstacle thrown at you, if you're letting yourself learn from it, and gain that new perspective.... that's where the first reason is found, that new perspective will lead to the next chapter that is 'good'.

These events will lead you a different path, you're new views will take you some place different in life. You may find another lover who you could have never expected to be so great, you could find more meaning to your life, find new interests, explore new things, get in a different job field where you truly find passion when you never even though of doing that before. Your newly gained perspective can take you places you would have never gone.... physically and emotionally. You'll meet people that you wouldn't have met before. Each obstacle will push you, pull you, lead you through different pathways in life, and even if it takes years to be stable or find happiness, it will come the sooner you let it.

You learn from pain, and even when the struggle is so rough, and so unfair, and so undeserving... it can bring you to a better place... and even if you would trade anything for things to have gone 'right' in the first place... just know that there's a whole world out there, nobody's life goes according to 'plan' and nobody has a life without struggles. So grieve, and mourn, and cry, and be angry. But know that if you choose to learn from the struggles, that's the first reason for it - and when you take what you learn and do something important with it, that's the second reason for it - and when you aren't even aware of where that struggle has taken you or how you have learned from it, know that that unexpected happiness that you have found may have never come in the same form and that's the third reason for it. Allow yourself to constantly grow, don't give up on happiness, live your life the way you choose, and allow your plans to be altered, and while smiling, graciously climb onto the roller coaster of life, let it take you for a ride, and soak up the scenery :)

Embrace The Happiness There Is

Growing up, I was always super judgmental of everyone. I was a preppy goody-two-shoes, athletic, always did all my homework, never got in trouble at school, dressed conservatively, just plain and boring, but I thought how I was was the 'right' way to be. If you dressed 'dorkier,' 'sluttier', 'punkier' etc. or didn't care about school, or just didn't see things how I did, I thought you needed to change your ways and be more like me. Now... I'm trying to figure out how I could everrrr think that way. We're always taught the 'golden rule' by the age of 5: treat others how you want to be treated... of course most people don't follow that rule... but there's a lot more to be focused on than just that. We're taught what's right and wrong, and good and bad, but most things aren't so black and white. We forget to teach kids to accept everyone, we forget to teach them that there's too much hate and sadness in the world to bring others down and try and stand in the way of their happiness. Although, it's not really that we forget to teach them these things, it's that we haven't learned it ourselves.

How many people do you interact with on a daily basis? And how many of those people actually know you and what really goes on in your life? Behind your smile... do they know when your family is falling apart, if someone close to you is involved in drugs, or abuse, or has an eating disorder. Do they know if you're having relationship issues, if your heart is broken, if someone close to you just passed away? Do they know if you're stressed out about school, or work, or money? Do they know if you feel alone, lost, or hopeless? Do they know if you're figuring out your sexuality? I bet nearly everyone can count on one hand how many people in their life - in this world - know about half of those things that are actually going on with them. And most the time probably 0-2 people actually know everythinggg that's going on with them. ..

So why do people waste their energy tearing people down? Judging what a person wears, what a person enjoys, how a person looks, what a person does, who a person loves (especially who a person loves)... just let everybody live their life, let them spend their time doing what keeps them okay... or even makes them happy. It's their life. Why do we worry about judging what makes people happy when there are so many bigger problems in the world, so many reasons for unhappiness. Nobody has an easy life, life is full of all of those unavoidable problems listed above, so if someone gets overly excited about the smallest things, let them, if they like to spend their time reading, writing, playing sports, being spiritual, doing art, being a band geek or in a math club, learning about insects or airplanes (hehe)... doesn't matter what they're doing, you should look at everyone with a smile with the awareness that they have found a way to enjoy themselves.

Look at the world with a smile, because behind closed doors, there are people who are crying, fighting, stressing, lonely, hopeless, and worried... There are people who have lost loved ones, had their heart broken, are sick or abused etc. You don't know what goes on in peoples lives, just like they don't know what goes on in yours, so instead of giving anyone a hard time, judging anyone, taking away any bit of joy someone has... acknowledge that they are are doing something that makes them feel good, and just smile, knowing that they have that bit of joy. You should feel good about anyones happiness, not want to bring them down.

And with the awareness of being unaware of what goes on in peoples lives, smile at those you pass on the street, have a conversation with someone who looks like they might need a friend, go out of your way to give a complement and reach out to someone having a bad day. A simple smile could make someone's day a little bit better, or you never know... maybe even keep someone alive.